BLOOD BOWL (PSP)
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Publisher: Focus Home Interactive.
Developer: Cyanide. Released: 2009. Genre: Sport; Strategy. Other versions: PC; 360; DS. Posted 7th July 2012. By Alan Passingham © 2012 |
A few years back a title was released on the PC named Chaos League. This was just a tiny bit reminiscent of Games Workshop's specialist table-top board game, Blood Bowl. The team rosters were remarkably similar; the player stats reflected the same qualities despite an obvious name change; the experience system and player skills were incredibly familiar; and although the gameplay in Chaos League was based on a real-time strategy simulation, rather than a turn-based mechanic, you were effectively playing Blood Bowl in all but name. Ace for Blood Bowl fans, not so much for Games Workshop's wallet! Cyanide Studio's were subsequently taken to Chinatown for breach of GWs intellectual property.
However, instead of properly slamming these French tea-leaves against the wall and demanding they play find the soap in the showers of the local clink, the nefarious money-making demons that run Games Workshop struck upon a novel idea. Cyanide had the coding for a Blood Bowl themed game at-hand; why not get them to actually make an official Blood Bowl game using the Chaos League template? So, finally, one of Games Workshop's most fondly remembered and much loved titles hit the video gaming scene (the 1995 PC version doesn't count on account of it being shit). Ingenious! Or so you would think. After the marvellous Chaos League beforehand, it comes as something of a surprise to find that Cyanide have spectacularly goofed up with the PSP version and, in a hideous amount of irony, dropped the ball...
Before all that though, you're new to Blood Bowl - what exactly is it? As an idea, Blood Bowl is refreshingly simple. Take American Football, add Warhammer races such as dwarfs, elves, orcs and skaven for the teams, provide racial stats for each (dwarfs are notoriously slow, but powerful, compared to elves who are lightning quick, but more fragile than a Jamie Oliver soufflé) along with certain skills for positional players, then attempt to score more touchdowns than your opponent in two half's of eight turns whilst pounding the opposition into the ground in gratuitous uber-violence. In practice, however, the rules are much more complex than that. Player actions such as picking up the ball, throwing the ball, blocking a player, dodging out of tackle zones, etc. are governed by the roll of a dice. So whilst the game is constantly at the whim and mercy of lady luck, a good deal of strategy is required to keep the ball protected as your team marches down the field to score. It's not a simple game to pick up and immediately understand, which may put some gamers off, yet the steep learning curve provides quite a considerable challenge if you keep with it.
However, instead of properly slamming these French tea-leaves against the wall and demanding they play find the soap in the showers of the local clink, the nefarious money-making demons that run Games Workshop struck upon a novel idea. Cyanide had the coding for a Blood Bowl themed game at-hand; why not get them to actually make an official Blood Bowl game using the Chaos League template? So, finally, one of Games Workshop's most fondly remembered and much loved titles hit the video gaming scene (the 1995 PC version doesn't count on account of it being shit). Ingenious! Or so you would think. After the marvellous Chaos League beforehand, it comes as something of a surprise to find that Cyanide have spectacularly goofed up with the PSP version and, in a hideous amount of irony, dropped the ball...
Before all that though, you're new to Blood Bowl - what exactly is it? As an idea, Blood Bowl is refreshingly simple. Take American Football, add Warhammer races such as dwarfs, elves, orcs and skaven for the teams, provide racial stats for each (dwarfs are notoriously slow, but powerful, compared to elves who are lightning quick, but more fragile than a Jamie Oliver soufflé) along with certain skills for positional players, then attempt to score more touchdowns than your opponent in two half's of eight turns whilst pounding the opposition into the ground in gratuitous uber-violence. In practice, however, the rules are much more complex than that. Player actions such as picking up the ball, throwing the ball, blocking a player, dodging out of tackle zones, etc. are governed by the roll of a dice. So whilst the game is constantly at the whim and mercy of lady luck, a good deal of strategy is required to keep the ball protected as your team marches down the field to score. It's not a simple game to pick up and immediately understand, which may put some gamers off, yet the steep learning curve provides quite a considerable challenge if you keep with it.
Ideally,
the PSP version of Blood Bowl only features the turn-based method of play - the
real-time strategy chugs enough on a PC so was obviously deemed as unsuitable
for the handheld format. This is no bad thing, as it means you're playing Blood
Bowl the way it's meant to be played. And at first all seems well.
The four introduction videos (a different one plays on each load of the game) are gorgeous, even on a PSP, and really fire you up for the carnage about to follow. The tutorial and the inclusion of an in-depth rule encyclopaedia ensure the controls and the complexity of the Blood Bowl client used are fairly intuitive to understand. The turn-based mechanics, therefore, work effectively and are easy to pick up. This includes the playing field being split into individual squares, much like the board-game, so one can visualize and calculate how far a player can move or throw the ball. Finally, the in-game graphics of the playing field and the three-dimensional modelling of the players are neat and tidy, with the ability to view the action from a range of views and perspectives. Although some of the character designs look a little garish and pixelated close up, they're functional, which is all they really need to be.
So what's the big problem with Blood Bowl on the PSP then? Well, first there are the real picky things that will irritate the hell out of the already established Blood Bowl fan-base. Only having eight races to play is shoddy stuff when you consider the table-top game features 21 different races. Not only this but the choice of the eight teams included is pretty uninspiring. Fun teams like Dark Elves, Undead, Vampires, Necromantic and High Elves are MIA, vanquished by the incredible dullness of humans, Orcs, Dwarfs and Lizardmen. Secondly, the recording of player stats is utterly wank. At the end of each tournament these stats, bar each players star player points, are reset to zero meaning player histories are pretty much wiped. The limitation of such histories won't bother many, but it will certainly incense those regular Blood Bowl players that are keen to fluff-up their team unnecessarily.
Yet this all pales into insignificance in the face of the seriously awful computer AI. Blood Bowl lacks any challenge whatsoever for the experienced pro. A dwarf longbeard, who is about as agile as a sloth, suddenly thinks he's an Elf and attempts to dodge out of three tackle zones for the AIs first move action of the turn. Instant turnover - lovely! Computer players finish their movement on the edge of the playing field. Joy! That's an easy crowd push and the opposing team down a player for the rest of this drive. Orcs rarely bash or foul, which is utterly criminal for the games most notoriously bashy and disreputable team. All positional players act like blitzers. The skill choices the AI makes are utterly laughable making certain victory even more absolute. And this, all this, happens on the most difficult game setting. Agggrrrraaaaggggghhh! Like a monkey trying to take a leak at a urinal by standing on its head, Blood Bowl ends up spraying piss everywhere except in the urinal. Utter fail.
The four introduction videos (a different one plays on each load of the game) are gorgeous, even on a PSP, and really fire you up for the carnage about to follow. The tutorial and the inclusion of an in-depth rule encyclopaedia ensure the controls and the complexity of the Blood Bowl client used are fairly intuitive to understand. The turn-based mechanics, therefore, work effectively and are easy to pick up. This includes the playing field being split into individual squares, much like the board-game, so one can visualize and calculate how far a player can move or throw the ball. Finally, the in-game graphics of the playing field and the three-dimensional modelling of the players are neat and tidy, with the ability to view the action from a range of views and perspectives. Although some of the character designs look a little garish and pixelated close up, they're functional, which is all they really need to be.
So what's the big problem with Blood Bowl on the PSP then? Well, first there are the real picky things that will irritate the hell out of the already established Blood Bowl fan-base. Only having eight races to play is shoddy stuff when you consider the table-top game features 21 different races. Not only this but the choice of the eight teams included is pretty uninspiring. Fun teams like Dark Elves, Undead, Vampires, Necromantic and High Elves are MIA, vanquished by the incredible dullness of humans, Orcs, Dwarfs and Lizardmen. Secondly, the recording of player stats is utterly wank. At the end of each tournament these stats, bar each players star player points, are reset to zero meaning player histories are pretty much wiped. The limitation of such histories won't bother many, but it will certainly incense those regular Blood Bowl players that are keen to fluff-up their team unnecessarily.
Yet this all pales into insignificance in the face of the seriously awful computer AI. Blood Bowl lacks any challenge whatsoever for the experienced pro. A dwarf longbeard, who is about as agile as a sloth, suddenly thinks he's an Elf and attempts to dodge out of three tackle zones for the AIs first move action of the turn. Instant turnover - lovely! Computer players finish their movement on the edge of the playing field. Joy! That's an easy crowd push and the opposing team down a player for the rest of this drive. Orcs rarely bash or foul, which is utterly criminal for the games most notoriously bashy and disreputable team. All positional players act like blitzers. The skill choices the AI makes are utterly laughable making certain victory even more absolute. And this, all this, happens on the most difficult game setting. Agggrrrraaaaggggghhh! Like a monkey trying to take a leak at a urinal by standing on its head, Blood Bowl ends up spraying piss everywhere except in the urinal. Utter fail.
Who would have thought that constantly winning could be so tediously boring? Unless you're into building an indestructible super team to make up for your lack of ability against real-life Blood Bowl opponents, this comes along all too soon. Maybe this view is a little harsh, though, if we remove the blinkered views of the typically foaming-mouthed, rabid collection of Blood Bowl fans. Looking at it a little less cynically, perhaps Cyanide's scope was to bring Games Workshop's specialist title to a new, much wider audience; therefore it needs to be easy to get into. The learning curve for new players is great and, at first, the unremittingly stupid AI probably seems like a challenge, especially when you have only four minutes per turn to think about and move all your players. However, even with this in mind you can't help but think Cyanide ignored the key word that this is a 'specialist' game generally played by a minority audience whom they have subsequently failed to cater for...
Lazy programming, inept decision making and a lack of consultation with real Blood Bowl players (who can point out to the programmers what a stupid move that would be for the AI to make) are at fault here. Cyanide, from a position of wowzer with Chaos League, has properly ballsed-up the PSP conversion of the turn-based format. And that's without going into the whole buggy original release of the title where the game would crash at the end or in the middle of a game, which is unbelievably frustrating considering it takes a good 40 minutes to complete each match (a patch from the PSN is available to sort out such things though).
This is a real shame as Blood Bowl on the PSP had so much potential. For at least the first half hour of play, it really is like playing your favourite board game on the handheld format. Yet, once you get into the campaign mode or start a league, the constant lack of challenge is so noticeable that that initial feeling of joy is trampled underfoot by the size 12’s strapped to the feet of bitter disappointment. The lack of variety in opponents and playing style (bashers don't bash, elfballers don't play elfball - the AI does the same thing no matter the racial characteristics of a team) makes it hugely obvious the programmers have never even played Blood Bowl before.
If new to Blood Bowl you might just enjoy this. Likewise, it has something to offer if you can find another human player to join in the two player mode (but you might as well just play the table-top version if that's the case). However, if you’re an old-hand at the game, this version is utter sh!t. A massive opportunity wasted and a hugely disappointing release for fans of Blood Bowl. Stick to Fumbbl instead…
Lazy programming, inept decision making and a lack of consultation with real Blood Bowl players (who can point out to the programmers what a stupid move that would be for the AI to make) are at fault here. Cyanide, from a position of wowzer with Chaos League, has properly ballsed-up the PSP conversion of the turn-based format. And that's without going into the whole buggy original release of the title where the game would crash at the end or in the middle of a game, which is unbelievably frustrating considering it takes a good 40 minutes to complete each match (a patch from the PSN is available to sort out such things though).
This is a real shame as Blood Bowl on the PSP had so much potential. For at least the first half hour of play, it really is like playing your favourite board game on the handheld format. Yet, once you get into the campaign mode or start a league, the constant lack of challenge is so noticeable that that initial feeling of joy is trampled underfoot by the size 12’s strapped to the feet of bitter disappointment. The lack of variety in opponents and playing style (bashers don't bash, elfballers don't play elfball - the AI does the same thing no matter the racial characteristics of a team) makes it hugely obvious the programmers have never even played Blood Bowl before.
If new to Blood Bowl you might just enjoy this. Likewise, it has something to offer if you can find another human player to join in the two player mode (but you might as well just play the table-top version if that's the case). However, if you’re an old-hand at the game, this version is utter sh!t. A massive opportunity wasted and a hugely disappointing release for fans of Blood Bowl. Stick to Fumbbl instead…
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VERDICT
Visual: 6/10
Audio: 7/10 Gameplay: 3/10 Longevity: 2/10 OVERALL: 2/10 |