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COOL SPOT (SMD)
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Publisher: Virgin Interactive.
Developer: Virgin Games. Released: 1993. Genre: 2D Platformer. Other versions: SNES; AMI; SMS; GB; GG. Posted 12th January 2013. By Alan Passingham © 2013 |
Secret Santa was a bit of a git to me this year! When Tom mentioned the SNES and Mega Drive pre-Chrimbo gift-giving between TPE’s staff I was really excited that I may get my hands on some classic material that passed me by all those moons ago. The email wait for news of the game I would soon test drive seemed intentionally prolonged yet tantalising. I was on edge. Irritable with anticipation. Finally it arrived. What the fudge? The reveal was similar to the realisation when sucking on a c*ck-flavoured lollipop. I cried foul. Tom said ‘tough, get on with it moron’. And so I settled down to wrestle with the platform frolics of the 7-Up label’s anthropomorphised Cool Spot; a game I already knew to be relatively dull and tedious thanks to my trusty old Amiga 600.
Anyway, let’s not pre-judge. Perhaps the platforming escapades of a sunglasses wearing, yo-yo-ing red spot and the cornucopia of 7-Up product placement within the game environment have coalesced in the intervening years and become something remarkable. Other than an over-saturated anti-Coca-Cola advert! Okay, perhaps not. What remains quite remarkable is the complete absence of any discernable plot. Not even Wikipedia can help explain what the actual game is about or why Cool Spot does what he happens to be doing. Each level just seems like pointless meandering through a new variation on a Micro Machines theme (beach, bath-tub, bedroom, etc. albeit in 2D platform format) collecting enough red tokens to rescue fellow Spots from the shackles of their cage, whilst dodging or shooting (with soda bubbles) enemies associated with each backdrop (sand-crabs, squirty frogs, toy robots, etc). That’s pretty much it.
Don't you just love it when you've no idea where you're jumping?
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A well-dressed mouse, annoyed that he's stuck between groups of nails
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Sure, the backdrops and enemies encountered change throughout (even though the bedroom toy theme is repeated in stages 5 and 7 – gah!) but it’s very much a rinse and repeat approach to platforming. Collect tokens, rescue chum. Collect tokens, rescue chum. Collect tokens, rescue chum. Collect tokens… sigh… you get the picture. There’s a distinct lack of variation in level design – what do you mean there is not one moving platform? – making it a world away from the likes of Mario, Sonic and SuperFrog. As such, the derivative nature means Cool Spot lacks that compelling ‘just one more go’ quality of all truly addictive games.
Saying that, there are some nice features in Cool Spot. The bonus levels are actually good fun. Bouncing around bubbles to reach the highest peak of the stage to collect much needed continues is both a skilful challenge and at the very least involving. Uhm… the music is also pretty funky throughout. Oh, and at least Cool Spot has a tough difficulty level. Lives will be lost and continues will be used as you grind your way further into the game; although, the fact the game feels like a grind from the out-set proves something of a deterrent. The problem is that with no discernable plot or purpose to involve the player in Cool Spot’s platforming antics there’s no real need to carry on once you’ve run out of continues, rendering the difficulty level obsolete. You just don’t care enough for Cool Spot’s plight, whatever that is, to have another crack at it.
Saying that, there are some nice features in Cool Spot. The bonus levels are actually good fun. Bouncing around bubbles to reach the highest peak of the stage to collect much needed continues is both a skilful challenge and at the very least involving. Uhm… the music is also pretty funky throughout. Oh, and at least Cool Spot has a tough difficulty level. Lives will be lost and continues will be used as you grind your way further into the game; although, the fact the game feels like a grind from the out-set proves something of a deterrent. The problem is that with no discernable plot or purpose to involve the player in Cool Spot’s platforming antics there’s no real need to carry on once you’ve run out of continues, rendering the difficulty level obsolete. You just don’t care enough for Cool Spot’s plight, whatever that is, to have another crack at it.
Everybody's gone surfin'.... sufin' lem-on-ade!
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Cool Spot's a touch ropey. Mwhaha, geddit?!
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The uninteresting platforming is so static and mundane that pretty much everything has been seen by stage 4, apart from basic graphical changes. Even then the graphical diversity is garish and bland. Whilst the parallax scrolling backgrounds are impressive there’s a real lack of vibrant colours to make anything really stand-out. Plus, everything seems just a tad blocky; pretty unforgivable when a game such as this is aligned against Super Mario World. Again, it’s all by the numbers with a slew of rather unimpressive enemies that are the antithesis of the Spot’s own stylish animation. A cheese-throwing dick monkey (sorry, mouse) is a relatively static and awful ‘sprite’ (a-ha-ha-ha geddit? Oh, f*ck off then) and the collision detection throughout is close to ropey.
So, if you were presented with a dictionary and forced to choose three words at gunpoint that described Cool Spot clearly, all of you would choose the words ‘mediocre’, ‘platform’, ‘bobbins’. In that order. A rather unremarkable game and proof that character and good game design are more important than expecting the all-too-obvious branding to sell the game to the intelligent masses. Oh, dang! Therefore, also proof that even over-rated games existed back in the golden age. Hopefully Secret Santa can choose something a little better next year rather than giving me a metaphorical kicking to the cool spots…
So, if you were presented with a dictionary and forced to choose three words at gunpoint that described Cool Spot clearly, all of you would choose the words ‘mediocre’, ‘platform’, ‘bobbins’. In that order. A rather unremarkable game and proof that character and good game design are more important than expecting the all-too-obvious branding to sell the game to the intelligent masses. Oh, dang! Therefore, also proof that even over-rated games existed back in the golden age. Hopefully Secret Santa can choose something a little better next year rather than giving me a metaphorical kicking to the cool spots…
