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SKYSCRAPER (PS2)
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Publisher: Midas Interactive.
Developer: Atomic Planet Entertainment. Released: 2008. Genre: FPS. Other versions: WII; PC. Posted 18th April 2014. By Tom Clare © 2014 |
Scientist Chris Wilson is about to have a very bad day… and if you’ve invested time and money sharing in his Skyscraper pilgrimage, then you’re about to have a very bad one too. A strong contender for the worst first-person shoot ‘em up ever made, Atomic Planet’s PlayStation 2 nadir is a disastrously programmed, joyless mess that should be avoided at all costs.
Returning to the lab for an evening having nipped out for some cake, Chris unwittingly stumbles on a small army of terrorists, with twenty floors separating him from his girlfriend. What follows is an overly-literal take on the old corridor-FPS trope, set in the various labs and offices that populate the Tigra Corp skyscraper. This is as appetising as things get though, as Skyscraper is an astoundingly poor shoot ‘em up.
Clearing the first level is absolute torture; I lost count of how many times I snuffed it before eventually scrambling to the safety of the elevator. The following stage I cleared first time; the third took ages, the fourth another first-time completion. In short, the challenge is intermittent but severe. Typically speaking, the less respect you show Skyscraper, the smoother your progress will be. Stealth generally doesn’t pay and nor does trying anything sneaky, whilst those who explore at a meticulous pace are guaranteed to end up dead.
Returning to the lab for an evening having nipped out for some cake, Chris unwittingly stumbles on a small army of terrorists, with twenty floors separating him from his girlfriend. What follows is an overly-literal take on the old corridor-FPS trope, set in the various labs and offices that populate the Tigra Corp skyscraper. This is as appetising as things get though, as Skyscraper is an astoundingly poor shoot ‘em up.
Clearing the first level is absolute torture; I lost count of how many times I snuffed it before eventually scrambling to the safety of the elevator. The following stage I cleared first time; the third took ages, the fourth another first-time completion. In short, the challenge is intermittent but severe. Typically speaking, the less respect you show Skyscraper, the smoother your progress will be. Stealth generally doesn’t pay and nor does trying anything sneaky, whilst those who explore at a meticulous pace are guaranteed to end up dead.
Well, hello there. You come here often?
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Things get even worse when he ends up in a video game
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The game continually feels like it’s hamstringing you; sometimes through the dreadful game engine, and other times actively by design. The confusing, labyrinthine nature of the office corridors is absurdly convoluted and samey, and this hindrance becomes a nightmare when you factor in periodically needing to locate medicine for Chris (alongside health kits should he take damage), else he starts tripping out and promptly dies. And dying is a real hindrance here, as there are no checkpoints and the levels are uncomfortably lengthy.
Chris is a scientist, and not versed in the use of fire-arms; we get that. Still, that doesn’t justify rickety, sluggish controls that see him taking an eternity to fire. The A.I. is lamentable, and inconsistent in the extreme. You’d think this would even things up a bit, but their unpredictability serves as a threat, as you can’t afford to sustain many hits. Hugging cover with L1 is frequently rendered useless as terrorists counter it by silently charging straight for your position, and disengaging to meet them is not a pretty process. Sometimes they’ll take cover themselves and shoot with accuracy, but just as often they’re found moonwalking into walls, ignoring you even as you approach.
For a while it seems like it may even plumb the same depths of fellow Midas ‘classic’ The Sniper 2, but then fate intervenes and it recovers a crumb of decorum. Kind of. The security hack mini-games (heavily inspired by Pipe Mania) prove considerably better than the main game itself, and there is at least a semblance of ambition to the levels as you make your way through underground car parks, lobbies, offices and science labs. I don’t know, perhaps I’m being excessively charitable. Still, at least the oddball protagonist raises a smile, especially as his quiet exasperation will likely mirror your own.
Chris is a scientist, and not versed in the use of fire-arms; we get that. Still, that doesn’t justify rickety, sluggish controls that see him taking an eternity to fire. The A.I. is lamentable, and inconsistent in the extreme. You’d think this would even things up a bit, but their unpredictability serves as a threat, as you can’t afford to sustain many hits. Hugging cover with L1 is frequently rendered useless as terrorists counter it by silently charging straight for your position, and disengaging to meet them is not a pretty process. Sometimes they’ll take cover themselves and shoot with accuracy, but just as often they’re found moonwalking into walls, ignoring you even as you approach.
For a while it seems like it may even plumb the same depths of fellow Midas ‘classic’ The Sniper 2, but then fate intervenes and it recovers a crumb of decorum. Kind of. The security hack mini-games (heavily inspired by Pipe Mania) prove considerably better than the main game itself, and there is at least a semblance of ambition to the levels as you make your way through underground car parks, lobbies, offices and science labs. I don’t know, perhaps I’m being excessively charitable. Still, at least the oddball protagonist raises a smile, especially as his quiet exasperation will likely mirror your own.
This terrorist heads for the relative security of the wall
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All that blood... yet full health. A mystery indeed
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For a 2008 release though, it really is remarkable how ugly Skyscraper is. Well, perhaps ugly isn’t quite the right word – it looks incredibly crude and basic. Such visuals would have looked poor on a PS2 launch game, but eight years down the road, it’s positively archaic. Vast chunks of the scenery, such as walls and glass panels, lack even rudimentary detail, whilst an instance of a stairwell collapsing reduces things to pure comedy as the cardboard-esque backdrop falls limply to the floor. Enemies look abysmal and their movement doesn’t resemble that of any human I’ve ever seen.
Subtitling is messy and whilst little is ever spoken, the writers have still managed to omit basic punctuation. This has nothing to do with tricky translations or the game poking fun at itself, it’s just plain lazy. Inevitably, the sound suffers too. But for a serviceable title-screen theme, music is almost non-existent, drawing closer attention to the lame sound effects, which consist of terribly unconvincing bullet effects and overly loud workplace noises like photocopiers and dripping taps. Chris’s short narrations offer a singular highlight, as he wearily acknowledges the irony of locked emergency doors, and lifts blowing up on the maintenance floor.
I didn’t complete Skyscraper. In fact, despite battling for days and completing a handful of levels, I probably didn’t come close to reuniting Chris with his (for all we know, imaginary) girlfriend. But that’s something of a moot point; whether there are six levels or sixty, the longevity remains virtually non-existent. It speaks volumes that the few viral videos available of the game all depict players failing to clear the first level. And for all but the most determined, masochistic of gamers, this is where the game begins and ends. Whilst progression starts yielding more potent weapons and a few new objectives, the gameplay doesn’t improve and levels remain as brutally unbalanced and over-long as they are the beginning. Skyscraper is obscure for a reason; frustrating, ugly and irreparably flawed in all areas of its design, it in no way resembles a modern shoot ‘em up, and is a bargain bin lurker you would do well to avoid.
Subtitling is messy and whilst little is ever spoken, the writers have still managed to omit basic punctuation. This has nothing to do with tricky translations or the game poking fun at itself, it’s just plain lazy. Inevitably, the sound suffers too. But for a serviceable title-screen theme, music is almost non-existent, drawing closer attention to the lame sound effects, which consist of terribly unconvincing bullet effects and overly loud workplace noises like photocopiers and dripping taps. Chris’s short narrations offer a singular highlight, as he wearily acknowledges the irony of locked emergency doors, and lifts blowing up on the maintenance floor.
I didn’t complete Skyscraper. In fact, despite battling for days and completing a handful of levels, I probably didn’t come close to reuniting Chris with his (for all we know, imaginary) girlfriend. But that’s something of a moot point; whether there are six levels or sixty, the longevity remains virtually non-existent. It speaks volumes that the few viral videos available of the game all depict players failing to clear the first level. And for all but the most determined, masochistic of gamers, this is where the game begins and ends. Whilst progression starts yielding more potent weapons and a few new objectives, the gameplay doesn’t improve and levels remain as brutally unbalanced and over-long as they are the beginning. Skyscraper is obscure for a reason; frustrating, ugly and irreparably flawed in all areas of its design, it in no way resembles a modern shoot ‘em up, and is a bargain bin lurker you would do well to avoid.
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VERDICT
Visual: 2/10
Audio: 3/10 Gameplay: 2/10 Longevity: 2/10 OVERALL: 2/10 |