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SOUTH PARK (PS)
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Publisher: Acclaim.
Developer: Appaloosa Entertainment. Released: 1999. Genre: FPS. Other versions: N64; PC. Posted 28th January 2021. By Shane Battams © 2021 |
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South Park’s PlayStation outing would prove a cautionary tale of stretching hardware beyond capacity. While the Iguana-developed N64 shooter would be modestly received a year prior, Appaloosa Interactive would be given the unenviable job of bringing it to Sony’s console with a quick turnaround. Unfortunately, the results are far from optimal. Bereft of technical merits, devoid of variety and replete with tiring shootouts that leave you numb, South Park marks one of the weaker licensed outings on the PlayStation. Considering the sheer number of dodgy licensed games the system would end up hosting, this is something of a dubious feat.
South Park stumbles with its shoddy, tedious gameplay. As you take the role of one of the four titular boys, each part of the game is subdivided into three or so levels, with your goal simply being kill anything in sight. Whether it’s ear-bleeding turkeys, mutated clones or aliens, there’s always a repetitive outline. Standard enemies come in waves but are easiest to take out, Tanks are larger foes who not only take more damage but can also spawn lower enemies and Bosses climax each episode. Shooting, to be fair, isn’t broken or hard to control, and the infantile weaponry is unique in a sense (no other game has snowballs with urine-covered alternate fire), but it’s extremely basic, with early enemies taking just a single hit to vanquish. It doesn’t help that the enemy count is reduced in this version, due to technical limitations.
Sadly, South Park is exactly as good as it looks.
All of this grows old very quickly and is compounded by the sheer quantity of enemies, sparse and very straightforward level design and inconsistent bosses which range from infuriating (such as the first giant Turkey boss which has a narrow target on its kiester) to stupidly easy. One frustrating element can see Tanks escaping levels, which leads to a bonus stage where you must stop them from destroying South Park. Fail, and you’re sent all the way back to the beginning of a mission, as mid-checkpoints are non-existent. After killing what feels like hundreds of turkeys in the first two levels, fatigue has already begun to set in, and the game’s basic design and lack of variety make it a chore to finish.
It doesn’t help that all of these shortcomings are caked in an awful presentation. Infrequent, ugly FMVs add nothing to the story and are about as much fun as a tooth removal. South Park also boasts some serious fogging which would make even Silent Hill blush, yet when a shopping mall interior also suffers from this issue, you know it’s not a design choice. Characters, environments and animations are all substandard, barely capturing the show’s aesthetics, and the performance is uneasy with some severe dips almost throughout. The sound is plain abysmal, as while the game uses the voices of the show, the canned and severely repetitive lines are nauseating – and this doesn’t count how compressed they sound. You’ll want to rip your ears off the first time you encounter multiple turkeys, and classic characters screaming the same lame lines again only makes things worse. The music – or, music track – is the same looped, unflattering tune repeated ad nauseam. And the effects all lack punch, and suffer from the same issues of compressed, crap sound quality.
It doesn’t help that all of these shortcomings are caked in an awful presentation. Infrequent, ugly FMVs add nothing to the story and are about as much fun as a tooth removal. South Park also boasts some serious fogging which would make even Silent Hill blush, yet when a shopping mall interior also suffers from this issue, you know it’s not a design choice. Characters, environments and animations are all substandard, barely capturing the show’s aesthetics, and the performance is uneasy with some severe dips almost throughout. The sound is plain abysmal, as while the game uses the voices of the show, the canned and severely repetitive lines are nauseating – and this doesn’t count how compressed they sound. You’ll want to rip your ears off the first time you encounter multiple turkeys, and classic characters screaming the same lame lines again only makes things worse. The music – or, music track – is the same looped, unflattering tune repeated ad nauseam. And the effects all lack punch, and suffer from the same issues of compressed, crap sound quality.
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The lone highlight is the multiplayer, but that too is hindered by system limitations. As you complete levels, all of which take a merciful six hours to polish off, cheats are rewarded which unlock multiplayer characters, spanning a wide range of the show’s cast. Though limited to just two players, failing to take advantage of the multitap, there’s some mild fun to be had blasting a friend in a bevvy of levels, which range from fairly basic, to trap-laden tests of your skills. There’s even some fun functionality added to a select few weapons, such as a third firing mode on the Warpo Ray which turns opponents into animals.
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South Park is a bad game. It does nothing to counter the trend of poor licensed fodder from Acclaim. While the idea of a first-person shooter set in the fictional Colorado town isn’t the worst, it’s completely undone by tediously designed shooting which swings from mind-numbing to frustrating, depending on the game’s whims. When coupled with abysmal presentation, a noticeable absence of the show’s trademark humour and enough canned lines to build a small fort, the result is a misery. Redeemed only by its somewhat decent multiplayer and mechanics which, admittedly, lead to functional controls and shooting, South Park is still best avoided, even by those who adore the show.
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VERDICT
"South Park is a bad game, undone by tedious shooting, abysmal presentation and a noticeable absence of the show’s trademark humour.” OVERALL: 3/10 |