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THUNDERBIRDS (PS2)
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Publisher: Blast Entertainment.
Developer: Coyote Console; Beyond Reality Games. Released: 2007. Genre: Flight shoot 'em up. Posted 1st July 2020. By Tom Clare © 2020 |
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2007, and the era of open-world gaming is in full flow. The success of the Grand Theft Auto games has inspired a wave of imitators, with titles as far-removed as wild west rodeo GUN and The Simpsons: Hit & Run utilising the sixth generation’s burgeoning sense of freedom and anarchic potential. Imagine if you will, just for a moment, the possibilities of a free-roaming Thunderbirds. The chance to explore the island base and its secrets as the Tracey brothers. Attempting rescue missions in the various versatile crafts, whilst visiting a range of perilous settings, like the kind the sixties series used to revel in. Action: amid a mix of ground, air, sea and space. The prospect of a Thunderbirds PlayStation 2 game was something to get excited about.
If you’re sensing a but, well, it’s the entire game. You’ll find precisely none of the aforementioned lofty dreams realised (or even attempted) here. Blast’s video game imagining of the popular television series is less a pioneering PlayStation 2 vision and more safe SNES, or middling Mega Drive. It plays for the most part like a very sedate version of Desert Strike, interspersed with some Asteroids mini-games that are depressing for their lack of refinement.
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It's the hope that kills you. Thunderbirds on PS2 was an exciting prospect, but it's undone by tedious gameplay and a lack of quality
Perhaps my expectations were a little optimistic. After all, it’s a budget release and there’s nothing wrong with that, in principle. Nevertheless, the license offers considerable potential for a lively and fun flight sim or shoot ‘em up, even without a big-bucks backing. Whilst there is an emphasis on quick-fire, arcade-style gameplay against strict time limits, there’s no escaping the fact that the gameplay is completely underwhelming.
In the main, the action plays from an almost top-down perspective, where the player must engage in a range of objectives relayed from space station Thunderbird 5. Tasks involve using TB1’s thrusters for quick landings so as to safely rescue people from danger zones, or TB2’s winch to haul a range of items (a curious mix that includes flaming barrels and cows) to a designated spot. Rather strangely, points of function aside, these two very different crafts control so similarly as to feel like palette swaps. Despite its considerable bulk, TB2 is capable of the same speeds as its aerodynamic sister-ship, and is just as nimble to control. They also share the ability to fire rockets. Sadly, the shooting segments are incredibly basic, handing the player extremely generous time-limits within which to take down a small handful of brainless drones that fly in loops and never fire back, only causing damage should the player fly directly into them. It fails utterly to capture the toy-set appeal of the crafts.
In the main, the action plays from an almost top-down perspective, where the player must engage in a range of objectives relayed from space station Thunderbird 5. Tasks involve using TB1’s thrusters for quick landings so as to safely rescue people from danger zones, or TB2’s winch to haul a range of items (a curious mix that includes flaming barrels and cows) to a designated spot. Rather strangely, points of function aside, these two very different crafts control so similarly as to feel like palette swaps. Despite its considerable bulk, TB2 is capable of the same speeds as its aerodynamic sister-ship, and is just as nimble to control. They also share the ability to fire rockets. Sadly, the shooting segments are incredibly basic, handing the player extremely generous time-limits within which to take down a small handful of brainless drones that fly in loops and never fire back, only causing damage should the player fly directly into them. It fails utterly to capture the toy-set appeal of the crafts.
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Whilst tight time constraints and the familiar, perilous music of the TV series drums up some jeopardy, it’s hard to shake the fact that most of the tasks feel more admin than action, for International Rescue. It just isn’t much fun. Be it hauling around hazardous materials, blasting identical-looking ships in what surely must count among the least stimulating dog-fights ever committed to media, or rescuing people by ‘landing’, the fact is once you’ve seen one level, you’ve pretty much seen the lot. The difficulty range is hindered by the odd unwelcome spike, caused by a mix of clumsy scenery mapping and relentless time limits.
Perhaps the greatest disappointments are saved for Thunderbirds 3 & 4. For those unfamiliar, that’s a space rocket and a roaming submarine, respectively. I wanted to make the distinction clear because amazingly, the two feature in the same, fixed-position shooting mini-game. If rotating a beached TB3, whilst it’s jostled ineffectually by space debris in a sub-standard approximation of Asteroids doesn’t ruin your childhood, then nothing will.
The most you can say for Thunderbirds’ graphics is that they are in colour. Cut-scenes depicting craft launches will make you weep, so ghastly are the shoe-string budget recreations. The game is plagued with poor texturing, lurid colours and a lack of detailing which makes everything appear very crude. Vapour trails look rubbish, the water effects are atrocious, and the developers didn’t see fit to bother with launch sequences for Thunderbirds 3 or 4, which for all sorts of reasons, feel as though they’re in the game as after-thoughts. The visuals, whilst well below average, at least come across as functional, limiting tearing and camera troubles to a minimum and retaining a consistent frame-rate, which is the least you would expect of a game that runs sedately and comes nowhere close to testing the PlayStation 2’s hardware capabilities. Map designs at least vary in appearance and layout, though they are 'budget' in every sense of the word.
Perhaps the greatest disappointments are saved for Thunderbirds 3 & 4. For those unfamiliar, that’s a space rocket and a roaming submarine, respectively. I wanted to make the distinction clear because amazingly, the two feature in the same, fixed-position shooting mini-game. If rotating a beached TB3, whilst it’s jostled ineffectually by space debris in a sub-standard approximation of Asteroids doesn’t ruin your childhood, then nothing will.
The most you can say for Thunderbirds’ graphics is that they are in colour. Cut-scenes depicting craft launches will make you weep, so ghastly are the shoe-string budget recreations. The game is plagued with poor texturing, lurid colours and a lack of detailing which makes everything appear very crude. Vapour trails look rubbish, the water effects are atrocious, and the developers didn’t see fit to bother with launch sequences for Thunderbirds 3 or 4, which for all sorts of reasons, feel as though they’re in the game as after-thoughts. The visuals, whilst well below average, at least come across as functional, limiting tearing and camera troubles to a minimum and retaining a consistent frame-rate, which is the least you would expect of a game that runs sedately and comes nowhere close to testing the PlayStation 2’s hardware capabilities. Map designs at least vary in appearance and layout, though they are 'budget' in every sense of the word.
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What does a space rocket have it common with a submarine? A duff mini-game, that's what.
Whilst I’m reticent to describe the sound as a redeeming feature, it’s certainly more bearable than other aspects of the design. Mind you, this is entirely thanks to the source material. The classic TV intro anthem undoubtedly helps save face, even if it’s a slightly tinny, MIDI rendition of the original. For the missions themselves, another track is lifted from the series, adding some excitement, though as there’s so little variation, it does become increasingly repetitive. Sound effects are very low-rent, and sadly there’s no voice sampling either.
The seven missions comprise of around 50 objectives, each around a minute or two in length. It’s not a big game: experienced players will plough through the majority of it in a single sitting. The odd, isolated tricky objective protracts the experience slightly, but if you do stick with it to the conclusion, it’ll likely be more from perseverance than the promise of enjoyment. In the final reckoning, there’s no excuse for Thunderbirds’ endless shortcomings, or its primitive, antiquated and infinitely lacklustre gameplay. The potential of the license allowed for the possibility of an exciting, cutting-edge gaming experience. Instead, what we got was fifteen years behind the curve. Don’t let nostalgia cloud your judgement; this is one trek down memory lane you won’t want to indulge.
The seven missions comprise of around 50 objectives, each around a minute or two in length. It’s not a big game: experienced players will plough through the majority of it in a single sitting. The odd, isolated tricky objective protracts the experience slightly, but if you do stick with it to the conclusion, it’ll likely be more from perseverance than the promise of enjoyment. In the final reckoning, there’s no excuse for Thunderbirds’ endless shortcomings, or its primitive, antiquated and infinitely lacklustre gameplay. The potential of the license allowed for the possibility of an exciting, cutting-edge gaming experience. Instead, what we got was fifteen years behind the curve. Don’t let nostalgia cloud your judgement; this is one trek down memory lane you won’t want to indulge.
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VERDICT
"Thunderbirds is undone by antiquated gameplay and a lack of quality. Don’t let nostalgia cloud your judgement; this is one trek down memory lane you won’t want to indulge." OVERALL: 3/10 |