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TOURING CAR RACER (AMI)
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Publisher: Byte Back.
Developer: Cloud Nine Developments. Released: 1991. Genre: Racing. Other versions: ST. Posted 16th January 2024. By Tom Clare © 2024 |
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The British Touring Car Championship enjoyed something of a golden period during the nineties, and by the close of the decade, was represented by some truly brilliant games that captured its combative fun. Touring Car Racer was not one of these, however. A game so threadbare, it could credibly have been mistaken for a demo build. Almost as soon as you’ve launched from the grid, you’ll realise what’s in store. Featureless circuits, backgrounds that look like placeholders, a complete absence of animation save for the rotation of the tyres, and some of the least exciting driving ever seen in a video game. Touring Car Racer ranks easily amongst the Amiga’s worst-ever games.
Its design doesn’t so much feel unfinished, as barely started, missing a wealth of basic elements. Races begin with no fanfare or flag drop, and there’s nothing to indicate you’ve finished a race other than your car slowing noisily to a halt. No chequered flag, not even a finish line. There’s no acknowledgement of your race results, regardless of where you finish, and no running tally in Championship mode, which simply strings four single races together.
You'll need something stronger than Listerine to wash away the bitter taste of Touring Car Racer
Whilst the four cars at least vaguely resemble the motors on which they’re based (the back of the BMW seemingly changed from blue to red, perhaps to avoid clashing with the Toyota), they’re very basic. This isn’t helped by a complete absence of animation, as cars appear to levitate rigidly across the track, always facing the same direction. The engine notes are horrendous, with the initial screech through the gears having audibly more in common with a horror movie than a motor race.
The tracks look dreadful. Every aspect of the in-game graphics is a catastrophe. The lurid, one-tone teal skies felt generations behind the times, even in 1991, and they can’t distract you from one of the lamest, emptiest set of backdrops you’ll ever have the misfortune of witnessing. These include a crude green mess of a forest, a rectangular splodge that passes for grandstands and, weirdly, snow-capped mountains galore for Cheshire’s famously-not-Alpine Oulton Park course.
The tracks look dreadful. Every aspect of the in-game graphics is a catastrophe. The lurid, one-tone teal skies felt generations behind the times, even in 1991, and they can’t distract you from one of the lamest, emptiest set of backdrops you’ll ever have the misfortune of witnessing. These include a crude green mess of a forest, a rectangular splodge that passes for grandstands and, weirdly, snow-capped mountains galore for Cheshire’s famously-not-Alpine Oulton Park course.
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Surely the racing can save its blushes? Well, I’ll start with the positives, such as they are. The cars are at least responsive to joystick inputs and, on the odd lengthy straight, the game shows a solid turn of pace. Then again, it should, as no aspect of its programming challenges the Amiga hardware in the slightest. Racing around with a car sponsored so prominently by Listerine mouthwash can, to a person of the right lineage, feel both amusing and vaguely nostalgic. That’s about your lot, however, because Touring Car Racer is shockingly bad to play. Lamentable as the backgrounds are, there’s also an almost complete absence of track-side scenery, meaning the racing feels woefully empty. As is sometimes the case with poorer 16-bit racers, the scrolling seems to occur after your car has physically been ‘met’ with the rotation of the corner, meaning you always feel like you’re late with steering. Strangely, the game won’t allow acceleration and steering inputs at the same time, meaning trying to retain speed through windy sections is frustrating.
Joystick control is rendered fiddlier than necessary by wasting buttons on gearing. The clutch is mapped to the ‘fire’ button, in conjunction with up and down for gear shifts, which also must serve as throttle and brakes. Fortunately, once you’re up to speed, the gearing functions are rendered largely redundant as there are precisely no corners that require the player ever need slow enough to warrant a down shift, and doing so always costs more time than it saves. The only time you might need the clutch is if, heaven forbid, you come into contact with another competitor…
Joystick control is rendered fiddlier than necessary by wasting buttons on gearing. The clutch is mapped to the ‘fire’ button, in conjunction with up and down for gear shifts, which also must serve as throttle and brakes. Fortunately, once you’re up to speed, the gearing functions are rendered largely redundant as there are precisely no corners that require the player ever need slow enough to warrant a down shift, and doing so always costs more time than it saves. The only time you might need the clutch is if, heaven forbid, you come into contact with another competitor…
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Though it can barely get any less detailed... this is about as detailed as things get.
...which you most assuredly will. The AI glitches around from side to side, whilst bad sprite scaling makes judging where to place your car for overtakes a bit of a lottery. Sometimes, it skips the scaling altogether and opponents appear almost directly in front of you. Unsurprisingly, crashes are underwhelming, though for the most part, they only result in a little speed being scrubbed from the player. However, now and again, a hit will see you slow to near enough a dead halt, any chances of a good result scuppered as you mash desperately through the gears, trying to rekindle some form of forward motion.
Whilst the game doesn’t offer any difficulty options, your best chance of success is to up the lap count, as winning races as brief as three laps seems unachievable. Even so, you’ll likely have seen all you can stomach in about half an hour’s play. The four selectable cars appear to drive identically (as best as I could deduce) whilst the game’s representations of Donington Park, Brands Hatch, Silverstone and Oulton Park could barely resemble these iconic locations any less. It looks and sounds terrible, but TCR’s most terminal failing is that it manages to capture precisely none of the excitement or fun of the BTCC. Worse than battling Steve Soper in a title decider.
Whilst the game doesn’t offer any difficulty options, your best chance of success is to up the lap count, as winning races as brief as three laps seems unachievable. Even so, you’ll likely have seen all you can stomach in about half an hour’s play. The four selectable cars appear to drive identically (as best as I could deduce) whilst the game’s representations of Donington Park, Brands Hatch, Silverstone and Oulton Park could barely resemble these iconic locations any less. It looks and sounds terrible, but TCR’s most terminal failing is that it manages to capture precisely none of the excitement or fun of the BTCC. Worse than battling Steve Soper in a title decider.
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VERDICT
"A game so threadbare, it could credibly have been mistaken for a demo build. It captures precisely none of the excitement or fun of the BTCC. Worse than battling Steve Soper in a title decider." OVERALL: 2/10 |
OTHER SUPERIOR NINETIES RACERS REVIEWED
Lotus III: The Ultimate Challenge (1992, Amiga)
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TOCA 2: Touring Cars (1998, PlayStation)
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